[Content warnings: anger; ptsd; freeze response]
It Was Not Him
His anger rises And I feel the fear again. It was not him, but I can remember what anger leads to, I know what comes after. When the glass broke I stood still, very still. I am always ready to be still - Holding my breath, but Refusing to look away. I will look him in the eye As I feel the fear again. Tightening around my stillness As I brave the storm, not daring To be swayed. The sapling knows what happens When the wind rises. It leans ferociously into the storm, Waits for its own fear to pass Battered but unmoved. I will look him in the eye Until he leaves again. He is not the one I fear But I remember what anger leads to, Where it goes when it's gone. It was not him, but When he's gone I breathe again. Rehearse my exit strategy. Either I control his anger or bear it fully; Or let it chase me, hunt me, I will have nowhere to hide. Caught, frozen; I pack it all inside. ©2024 @StaceyBattlestheWorld
